There Are Some Things You Should Never Forget

When I think about the things that have shaped me, the list gets pretty long. From big events like my brother’s battle with cancer and my middle school friend’s death to seemingly insignificant conversations with friends or kids in the ministries I’ve worked in.

Everyone has moments like these. Ones that change how you think or who you are or even the trajectory of your life.

When Joshua led the Israelite people across the Jordan river, they set up twelve stones as a memorial to what God had done for them.

It is important to remember how far you have come. When I’m discouraged, or doubting my career choice I can look back through my journal or my memory box. In my memory box I keep special cards, a few dried flower petals, a hospital bracelet, some old coloring sheets and other trinkets. Each object has a specific memory tied to it. I can look at it and see who I was before and how much I’ve grown and changed.

It reminds me that I’ve gotten through rough times before and God will bring me through them again.

Don’t forget the things that God has done for you. Write them down or find an object that reminds of you of them. When things get rough or you start doubting, remember that you are not alone.

Keep the Conversation going:

What are your memorial stones?

 

Be Intentional

I have a challenge for you. It’s a call to action and an encouragement. Ready? Here it is:

Be intentional.

As college students, it’s so easy to get dragged down by homework. We’re busy with classes and commitments, and sometimes we forget to be intentional… and I don’t mean being intentional about studying, sleeping, and eating (but that’s important, too).

Be intentional with others.

Don’t let yourself become so busy that you don’t have time for people. The people in your life while at college are important, from your roommates and classmates to that close group of friends. Each relationship will look different, and I think that’s part of what makes them beautiful and unique. Not everyone has the same role in your life (and you in theirs), but you can learn from each other, share life, and make memories.

Here’s the catch: intentionality takes work. You can’t always wait for people to come to you. It takes effort, planning, and commitment, but it’s worth it. It’s not impossible. Here are 5 simple ways (of many) to be intentional with those around you:

1. Have a one-on-one lunch with a friend or eat dinner with your roommate.
2. Take a walk with a friend and spend time talking.
3. When you ask your someone how they’re doing, take the time really listen to their answer.
4. Send a quick text to someone when you think of them.
5. Study together (this one hits two birds with one stone).

You’ve received your mission… You’re commissioned… and now it’s time to act.

Be intentional.

How will you be intentional this week?

 

3 Ways Modesty Culture Got it Wrong

“Modest is hottest”–if you grew up in the evangelical church, you’ve probably heard this trope before. And while I’m not here to promote promiscuity I think there are some important things we get wrong when we over-emphasize modesty.

1. True modesty is all about what women wear

This definition of modesty misses the holistic meaning behind being modest. More than how you dress, it should be about your heart. Are your thoughts and actions a reflection of who you want to be, of the person God calls you to be? Is the way you look at others a reflection of who you want to be? Modesty shouldn’t be about judging others based on how they dress, it should be about being yourself in a way that reflects God.

Basing modesty on hiding the human body also reinforces the very thing that modesty is trying to avoid: objectifying a person’s body. By pulling out our tape measures we can have concrete, enforceable guidelines for clothing. But it also perpetuates the idea that her identity and value is found in her appearance.

2. Girls are responsible for boys’ sexual thoughts and behavior

The way people dress and present themselves certainly does have an impact on the way others perceive us, however that does not mean being responsible for inappropriate thoughts, comments, or behavior. The extreme though classic response to rape or unwanted advances is, “oh she was asking for it,” or “if you dress like a tramp, you’ll be treated like a tramp.” A woman who dresses provocatively may catch a man’s attention, but only he is responsible for his thoughts and actions.

We should teach our children that modesty is about how they present themselves and how they wish to perceived, but we should also be careful that we aren’t forcing them to be responsible for other people’s thoughts and behavior.

3. Modesty doesn’t apply to males

There is nothing gender specific about modesty. Google defines it as “the quality of being unassuming or moderate…manner intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.”

Just as a woman can call undue attention to herself, so can men. It is important to think about how we can all apply the principle of modesty to our lives. This means working to live a wholesome, God-honoring life rather than placing our value or other people’s value on their appearances.

3 Ways to Live Your Life

Stop for a minute and look around. Think about where you are and what’s around you. For example: I’m sitting on a comfortable chair in a heated building with running water and electricity. My computer is in front of me (hence these words on your screen), my phone is on my desk, and I just ate lunch.

I know that somewhere in the world, a child is hungry and lonely and cold. Someone just lost their friend, house, or livelihood… and here I am.

There is no doubt we are privileged in America. More specifically, my life– and possibly yours- in America, because the good, old U.S.A isn’t exempt from poverty, hurt, and other woes.

Do you ever feel undeserving? Like it’s not fair you have a bed to sleep on and a mom who loves you when others don’t? It doesn’t seem fair, I can’t explain why life is this way. I didn’t do anything to deserve or pick this life, but it’s the only life I have.

Your life is the only life you have, too, so here are three ways to really live it:

1. Be thankful and embrace it | Jesus came to bring life (John 10:10), so live it. In the past, I have felt guilty about living the way I do. Yet isn’t embracing life the best way to be thankful for it (the good, hard, and in between)?
2. Be aware of others | Living and loving life doesn’t mean you get to be ignorant about the stories and struggles of others. Just as embracing life is truly living, I am learning that entering into people’s lives and stories brings life to a whole new level.
3. Live generously | If you have much, give much. This is true for time, money, and more. Love deeply and freely and generously (as followers of Jesus, that’s something we’re called to do). Give to those who have less than you, encourage those next to you, and don’t ignore people who have more than you.

Life is beautiful. Do you believe that?

Go live.

3 Benefits of Having a Mentor in College

Thinking back over the years, there are several people who have had a positive impact on my life. When I was in elementary school, it was my “Grandma” who wasn’t really my grandma. In middle school it was a teacher and in high school it was a youth group leader. Now that I’m in college, it’s my professors. Here are three beneficial things that a mentor will do for you.

1.  Encourage You To Pursue Your Goals and Dreams

A mentor is someone who will encourage you to follow your dreams and goals. They will push you to your best and reach your full potential. Your mentor will often be someone who has been where you are, they can bring you their experience and advice for the best way to achieve your dreams. They can also encourage you on a professional level, helping you take the necessary steps towards your career.

2. Hold You Accountable

When you don’t have anyone to hold you accountable you will always run the risk of falling into complacency. They will be there to push you forward and help you continue growing. My mentor holds me accountable in my relationships–with my parents, my friends, and my boyfriend. I want to come to a place where I have close friends at school who I trust, but building a friendship like that takes work, and it’s easy to just hole up with a bunch of homework and avoid everyone. My mentors encourage me to reach out to people and chase my goals.

3. Support

When times get tough, and they will, your mentor can help you push through. They will check up on you and encourage you to keep going. They have probably experienced their share of hard times will be there for you as you weather the storm.

The Season You’re In

Do you ever feel the need to remind yourself of something? I did; I wrote it in gold lettering on plain paper. This quote sits in a frame on my desk:

Don’t waste the season you’re in waiting for the next one.

I need this reminder. It’s easy for me to focus on what’s next and miss the purpose in the present. I need to be reminded to embrace life now. I don’t want to look back at the past year (or day) and realize I forgot to live.

Hear me out, reader. Planning is not bad. Dreaming’s a good thing. Preparing as best we can is smart. Dreaming and hoping are part of being human. It’s obvious by observing kids playing dress-up, a high schooler’s excitement for college, or an employee working each day.

But when we begin idolizing the next chapter of our life, we miss out on what is guaranteed: this moment. At what point does waiting and hoping take away from living? Is it possible to become so caught up in what’s next or what’s better we forget to live?

As a college student, I find myself wondering about the next chapter of my life (including “Where will I work?” and “Where will I live?” and “What’s going to happen?”). I love to plan and dream, and I believe we can. For me, this lesson is one I had to learn by experience. Adults told me life goes by fast (they’re older and wiser, even if I don’t want to admit it), and I’m just beginning to understand.

Where do we go from here?

I’m going to lean into this season of education, newness, and discovery. I’m going to dream about tomorrow and trust Jesus. I am going to live.

Will you join me?

 

The Christian Ghetto

Sometimes Christians live in a box. One of my professors calls it the Christian Ghetto–an isolated, segregated group where we are no longer a “city on a hill” but a city unto ourselves.

Christians sometimes have a mentality that the world is out to get us. It’s not safe out there, but it’s safe in here with our shared rules and beliefs.

I’m talking about the idea that the secular world is contaminating and we should have little or no association with it.

You can’t listen this music, or watch that movie, or read that book. If it’s not written by a Christian or doesn’t have a safe message, you shouldn’t have anything to do with it. And from the English humanities major side of things–if you don’t write something that fits a neat “Christian values” box you’re inviting flack for not being enough of a light to the unbelieving world.

The problem with all of is this is that it creates an exclusionary, judgmental environment. Instead of meeting the world in its brokenness with God’s love, we ask the world to squeeze into our mold of what it should look like. Then they can join our safe little ghetto and we don’t have to worry about getting hurt or stretched beyond the comfortable.

We like to stay in our comfort zone. If God wants them to know Him, He will bring them to us, right?

He can. But he also calls us to go to them.

Our God cares deeply about the world. If you listen to what the world is saying through media, you will hear the cries of a broken people, longing to know if someone sees their pain, if it matters.

It’s our job to tell them yes, I see you, God sees you. Life is hard, but my Abba has a good heart and if you are willing, he can bring peace to your suffering and healing to your brokenness.

 

 

 

Welcome to the Real World

When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to be a college student. I dreamed of having a dorm, enjoying more independence, and being an adult. Little did I know… You see, there’s a difference between being a “real adult” and a “college adult.” As a “college adult,” I’m not a kid anymore, but I don’t feel like a full-fledged adult. It’s like Christmas dinner at my grandma’s house: do I sit with the kids or the grown-ups?

After a semester of college, I became increasingly aware of how I’m not ready for the real world. To start, living is expensive. After the first (but certainly not last) time I went to Target to buy groceries, I called my mom to thank her for feeding me for the past 18 years (for real). While managing money may be a wake-up call, it’s a necessary one, preparing us for life after college.

Then there’s the freedom, going beyond the #Merica freedom celebrated on July 4th. This wonderful, wild freedom lets you stay up until two o’clock in the morning. It lets you choose between ramen or salad. This freedom doesn’t make you go to class. It certainly doesn’t remind you to do your homework. However, it also gives flexibility to have fun and make memories. Having freedom teaches us to manage our time and prioritize.

Just as high school helps prepare student for college, college eases students into the ebbs and flows, uncertainties, and joys of being an adult. Sometimes these changes and new responsibilities can be overwhelming. As we navigate this migration to the “real world,” let’s be grateful for those who’ve helped us in the past and those who help us along the way. Enjoy this unique season of life.

How is being a “college adult” different than you expected?

3 Practical Self-Care Tips For College Students

College is a busy season of life, and it’s easy to forget about the importance of self-care.

This is an area I personally struggle with a lot. I am an Achiever, I tend find my value in how well I accomplish a task.

As the semester goes on, I get more and more tense, my stress levels build until I can’t sleep, can’t think, and my hands are shaking from drinking too much coffee. Then grades start to slip and I get even more stressed.

Don’t do that.

It’s not healthy.

Here are a few practical things you can do to de-stress and take care of yourself:

#1  Be Intentional With Your Time

I cannot stress this enough! I find that I have to schedule time to unwind. I plan out all my homework assignments and try to leave at least 30 minutes open to process the day or do something I enjoy. Sometimes this also means just standing up and taking a 5 minute break when a project get frustrating or you find your focus slipping.

If you do not have a planner to organize your assignments, due dates, appointments, and activities, you should consider getting one. Being able to see your week on paper is really great for staying on top of things and not stressing over due dates. It also helps to set time increments and visualize how you want your day to go.

#2 Process The Day

This looks different for everyone, but is really important, especially when things get stressful and busy. For me, I process by writing, so I journal.

You might process by talking and need to set up a coffee date with a trusted friend, or go for a walk or a run to move and let your brain unwind.

Another option is taking advantage of school counselors. They are equipped to help with all kinds of situations, from stress to depression to addiction to relationship problems. There is no shame in getting help from others.

#3 Find Something You Enjoy and Do It

It’s good to have hobby outside of schoolwork.

I love reading fiction, I know some people who really like adult coloring books. My boyfriend games on his computer and who doesn’t binge watch a show or two now and then?

On the social side of things, there’s card games, board games, exploring the city, or visiting a local museum or art exhibition with friends.

—

Keep the Conversation Going:

How do you de-stress?

What other tips would you add to the list?

 

 

 

The Water Crisis in Flint

Can you imagine drinking water rumored to damage vehicle parts? To be told the water’s safe, only to find out its levels of lead are three (or more than ten) times* over the level deemed (relatively) safe?

It may sound crazy, but it’s true. Just Google “Flint, MI water crisis.”

Families in Flint were told to stop drinking the water, contaminated by corroded pipes, in early October 2015. An emergency was declared on December 14. It may be February, but solutions aren’t implemented overnight.

I think of people across the ocean without access to clean water. I rejoice when I see pictures of wells and pumps and precious children cupping pure liquid in their hands. I’m also starting to think this: we don’t have to hop on an international flight to do a similar type of work.

It’s shocking, really, but we can help. Here are some ways to lend a hand (and money):

Contribute to the Flint Water Fund.

Donate to the Flint Child Health & Development Fund.

If you can’t donate (no guilt trip here– I know from experiences college students don’t usually have extra cash), you can at least be informed. You can pray.

For those in Flint: I think Jesus understands.

Jesus uttered, “I am thirsty.”

Jesus said what we do to the least of these– the thirsty– we do to him.

Jesus offers living water.

*Statistics and dates from The New York Times.